Dreams
by Typewriterman
Summary: They say that dreams are made of our memories, hopes and anxieties.


Do you feel the love, tonight?

* * *

I remember her.

I can clearly visualize her gaze through the hazy fog, with soft eyes as shining as the sky. They were beautiful, those eyes. My heart would beat like that of a thousand war drums every time I was caught by an enchanting glance. Even as we walk down this grassy slope through the haze, I feel warmth on the nape of my neck, like the very sun basking its glow onto me, as I feel her determined stare look forward.

Her determination, her will, her charm, all can be projected with as fierce intensity of a lion and yet as softly as the frailest lamb.

The fog is starting to rise now, clearing the blue sky that is only peppered by clouds. Revealing the clear grassland around us. The sun rises before me, casting me between the heats of two suns. Though, just as the rising glow enters into the sky in front of me and warms my skin, I turn around, and still feel the heat that tends to my inner self from her.

Her eyes once held a cold glare to me, acting only to unleash its fury in my name. I remember…I remember I could never handle that…so I would try to defend her. Defend her with a power that I lacked. Defend her despite knowing I had no chance. Her eyes only grew colder as a result of my foolish actions.

As a cool wind casts its effects through the grass that tickles my exposed ankles, revealing its presence through the waves of bowing grass blades, she braces herself by catching her hair with one hand and holding her draping skirt down with her other.

Those long and refined fingers, innocent as they are now, are strong as well.

Their strength surpassed all belief, as she would protect and fight for what she believed in. To protect those who couldn't protect themselves; to fight and win her own desires.

But now I watch as those soft hands brush through hair that could rival the bright beauty of Aztec gold. The wind plays mischievously through it, revealing her hair's length and letting it fall down to her shoulders. Only a single strand of hair stands up to defy gravity, but never defying her personality.

If I had to describe her in one word, nothing would ring so true as "defiant".

Defiant to other's passions…

Defiant to my own foolish beliefs…

Defiant to a single categorization…

…her eyes turn their attention to me now, glimmering like pure jade in the sun that's rising behind me, casting its glow upon my back. But the greatest heat is of her, as she stepped through the tall grass that tickles her exposed ankles and stops within arm's reach.

I want to hold her within this reach; revel in the softness of her form, find some human identity that she had hidden within her war armor. Armor not made of metal, but the cold exterior that she had once presented to the world as she always stayed on her guard. Armor not made of any fine leather, but the seriousness of her tone, not the harmonious and velvet voice that escaped her lips.

In my mind, she has no vulnerable side.

I had seen her shed her armor of metal, showed softness to friends and unprovoked kindness to strangers. I had seen her shed her armor of fine leather, and enchanted my ears with the silk and velvet of her tone, the ease of her tensions around her surroundings.

Those strong hands had the softest touch, the deftest ease to care.

Those eyes as soft as the beautiful field that surrounds us; casting to and fro without care to the whims of the gentlest breeze.

In my mind, that is when she is at her strongest, when she has no armor to protect her; when she displays her strength, her kindness, her softness, her determination.

Her scent floats about like a perfume, the proximity of us two more than I can bear. I close my eyes in fear. In the off chance that this is yet another bittersweet dream. My sense of smell seems heightened by this now, and seems to possess my arms to move of their own accord. I can understand what they want to do, acting against the will of my common sense. They want to catch this dream before it flutters away, to wrap around her form like they did before, to feel her nervously tense up before ultimately melting away into the embrace as well.

But her soft hands hold my arms from embracing her. Her touch is ice cold yet burns with a fiery essence in tandem. I weave my fingers between hers, ensnaring her in my trap before she disappears again.

As I open my eyes, the fear now leaving, I am greeted by a flushed face. Her cheeks were rose red, clashing with the strong persona that so radiated her visage during battle. Her eyes, mesmerizing like the greenest fauna that could entrap unsuspecting insects had caught me in its gaze, causing me to lean closer and closer in and disregard any danger that could perchance upon me.

Her breathing is soft and excited, almost anxious.

I close my eyes again; the fear of this ending is coursing through my mind, body and heart. The weight of her arms resting on my shoulders, her waist tensing at my touch, the feel of the grass skirting my ankles…

…I open my eyes to darkness. The feel of my pillow against the back of my head is like resting upon a thousand jagged rocks compared to her touch. The blanket strewn on top of me is steel-wool compared to her embrace. The dotting ceiling above me laughs with apathy compared to her face; her caring eyes.

I smile sadly my vision waters up, and gravity strains the tear down my face.

"Even after all this time…" I hear my voice echo the empty walls, deepened by age. It is a laugh defined by melancholy. "…I remember her…"

Someone who had existed once, but as I look around in my waking days…she no longer seems to anymore…

No. She still exists. Not because of these memories that I have or because of the scars that litter my body…

It's because…

…I loved her…

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Inspired by a sudden Fate/stay night marathon last weekend, I managed to write this while listening to Saber's character image song and "La sola" from the Fate/stay night OST. I hope you can tell from whose perspective this is told from... 

_**...legalities...**_

I do not own or stand to gain money by writing this story. (But donations are just fine)_**  
**_

**Fate/stay night** is owned and distributed by **Type Moon**

The anime developed by **Studio Deen**


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